Each day, an estimated 6,000 women reach menopause. The bevvy of symptoms — some of which can continue for 15 years or more — might, under any other circumstances, send them running to their physicians for help. These symptoms include hot flashes, mood swings, sleep disturbances, heart palpitations, vaginal changes and sexual dysfunction.
Yet, why are women so hesitant to seek treatment for their menopause symptoms, which many admit to causing a major disruption in their physical and emotional lives? Many of the women who seek treatment remain dissatisfied and left feeling that they’ve not received adequate or quality care or education, according to the 2018 AARP magazine article, "What Doctors Don't Know About Menopause." Women are white-knuckling through a very tempestuous and confusing time, hungry for information and social support.
But we're beginning to see and hear more about menopause in the mainstream media, and several online businesses are trying to fill the the void of information and care to help women get through this profound life transition.
Menopause and Its Bad Rap: How Did We Get Here?
The true definition of menopause is the “ceasing of menstruation,” when a woman has been without a period for 12 consecutive months.
This definition might be accurate, and many women may be joyous at not dealing with their monthly flow. But the more nuanced connotations of menopause, which include aging and the loss of fertility, are anything but comforting in our youth-obsessed society.
"The majority of women in this age group don't know who to turn to. Many don't even see their gynecologists anymore, unless there's a problem."
While the beginning of menstruation is celebrated as a rite of passage and the arrival of a girl’s womanhood and fertility, menopause is mourned as a loss of youth — a shrinking not only of one’s ovaries, but of one’s self.
More of these negative feelings about menopause can be traced back to 2002, after the results of the hormone replacement therapy (HRT) study by National Institutes of Health’s Women’s Health Initiative were made public.
Once considered the gold standard of treatment for menopause symptoms, the Women’s Health Initiative linked HRT to a (later unfounded) increased risk of breast cancer, heart disease and stroke. Women panicked and abandoned their treatment, fearing for their health.
Later, the Women’s Health Initiative study was found to be flawed and much of its findings were discounted. HRT is now believed to be safe for women who are within 10 years of menopause or are younger than 60.
The position of The North American Menopause Society is that "hormone therapy remains the most effective treatment for vasomotor symptoms (hot flashes, night sweats) and the genitourinary syndrome (vaginal and sexual symptoms) of menopause and has been shown to prevent bone loss and fracture."
But the consequences of the Women’s Health Initiative study were profound, says Dr. Mary Jane Minkin, clinical professor in the Department of Obstetrics, Gynecology and Reproductive Services at Yale University School of Medicine. “Not only did women stop using hormone replacement therapy, but OB/GYN residency programs stopped teaching menopause education.”
By 2011, Minkin says, only 20% of the OB/GYN residencies in the U.S. and Canada had formal menopause education.
“We still had to teach residents to deliver babies, do hysterectomies, D and C’s (dilation and curettage), tubal ligations and contraception,” Minkin explains. So, it became convenient to “throw menopause education under the bus. Why waste time teaching menopause if women won’t use hormone therapy anyway?”
Today, much of the burden in managing menopause falls on the shoulders of the women going through it.
Menopause Going Mainstream?
But there’s much evidence that women are pushing back.
JWT Intelligence, in its latest trend report, “Elastic Generation: The Female Edit,” finds that this once-invisible demographic is “now refusing to go quietly,” and is now out there “embracing change, celebrating life and flying in the face of stereotypes.”
This includes upending the taboo of menopause and bringing it out of the dark. Partly responsible are TV shows and celebrities, many of whom give a voice to once-shunned topics like mental health, childhood vaccines, breast cancer and now, menopause. For example:
Gwyneth Paltrow publicly announced her trials with perimenopause (the transition to menopause which can last anywhere from four to eight years) and followed that up with a line of products.Actress Pamela Anderson admitted to feeling emotional and suffering from hot flashes and mood swings during perimenopause.A storyline in the Netflix show Grace and Frankie features a line of sex toys specifically tailored for the post-menopausal woman.Menopause is even making it into art exhibits: One, created by an Indiana University School of Nursing expert, educates its viewers on the effects of hot flashes. Titled “Hot Flashes? Cool!” its aim, through art, music and film, is to educate the public, dispel myths and open a dialogue around menopausal hot flashes.
Gynecologist Dr. Lauren Streicher saw this unmet need for menopause care when she proposed opening a center dedicated to sexual medicine and menopause. In the new center, where she serves as director, “Everything is one-stop shopping,” she says. This Center for Sexual Medicine and Menopause at Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago serves the comprehensive needs of women with a team of experts, including gynecologists, dermatologists, urologists, pelvic floor physical therapists and sex therapists.
“The majority of women in this age group don’t know who to turn to,” Streicher says. “Many don’t even see their own gynecologists anymore, unless there’s a problem. We pay attention to all the issues specifically secondary to the loss of estrogen that go way beyond just hot flashes.”
Perhaps educators in the U.S. will take a lesson from the U.K., where the government has recognized the far-reaching effects of menopause and decided to add menopause education to the sex education curriculum next year. “It is hoped the lessons will help pupils support their mothers, sisters and partners later in life,” according to an article in the Daily Mail. After all, with the average age of menopause at 51 and greater life expectancy, it’s estimated women will live one-third of their lives after menopause.
Online Menopause Clinics/Stores
In their quest to make health care more accessible for menopausal women, online companies like Amwell, Genneve and Rory are cropping up, hoping to provide the vastly underserved population of women with medical attention, education and products they need to make the menopausal transition easier.
These websites offer online doctor visits, over-the-counter products and prescription treatment plans. Procter & Gamble has created the website Pepper & Wits, which offers information and products to deal with issues related to menopause (like vaginal dryness and insomnia). And a former Procter & Gamble executive has launched Better Not Younger, a company for women dealing with hair issues (like thinning and dryness) that frequently strike at midlife.
Minkin, in addition to treating patients and teaching menopause education to soon-to-be doctors, has a women’s health website and blog: MadameOvary.com. “Minkin laments that medical students typically “get a one one-hour lecture on menopause; maybe two!” That’s why she launched the blog.
“I knew that at least there, women could start a menopause education,” she says.
Minkin is also the online menopause adviser for other websites like WebMD and RedHot Mamas.
“As I tell my medical students: Being a menopause doc will never make you rich,” Minkin says. But the care she gives, and the opportunity to change and improve the lives of women and their families is priceless, she says.


Is It Becoming Less Taboo to Talk About Menopause?

Sheryl Kraft

We boomers seem to have made our mark, for better or for worse, with just about everything we’ve touched. So should we be surprised that boomer grandparents —nearly 60 percent of all U.S. grandparents — are a breed apart, too? (Let’s leave aside John Stamos’s grandfather-by-surprise character on the new Fox show, Grandfathered.)
“Boomer grandparents are taking grandparenting to the next level. They’re not standing back waiting to be invited into their grandchildrens’ lives. And they’re not just showing up at the baby’s delivery; they’re staying engaged with their teenage grandkids,” says Lori Bitter, author of the new book The Grandparent Economy: How Baby Boomers Are Bridging the Generation Gap and publisher of Grand, a digital magazine for grandparents.
After surveying 1,000 boomer grandparents and researching her book, Bitter told me she found that boomer grandparents are spending more on, and spending more time with, their grandkids than previous generations. Since 2000, Bitter writes, grandparents’ spending has outpaced general consumer spending at an average rate of about 8 percent annually.
Boomer grandparents are also seeing the role of grandparents much differently. Here are highlights of my conversation with Bitter, who is also President and Senior Strategist for the consulting firm The Business of Aging and former President of J. Walter Thompson’s Boomer division, JWT BOOM:
Next Avenue: What is The Grandparent Economy?
Lori Bitter: I define it not just by the money grandparents are spending on their grandkids, but also the investment of their time. They’re helicoptering into their grandchildrens’ lives and taking over where the grandchildrens’ parents can’t.
And how do the parents of the grandkids feel about this?
Overwhelmingly, when we talked to all generations, they see this as an extremely positive experience.
But you also write there are some alienated grandparents who aren’t in the lives of their grandkids at all. Why is that?
Yes. It’s a really sad situation; I think it’s much more prevalent than it used to be.
There are as many reasons as there are families. Couples don’t always get married when they have a child and when they split up, the grandparents can end up feeling like they have no rights.
Sometimes it’s about meddling. Some boomer grandparents view the grandparenting experience as a ‘do-over’ for their parenting. They think: ‘Now I have the time and I have the money.’ You can see how that can go bad very easily.
Also, in this generation of young families, there are a lot more intercultural and interracial relationships. That can create tension about how the children are raised; what cultures and religious groups they’re going to embrace. Sometimes parents push back and tell the grandparents: ‘That’s not how we we want to raise our kids.’ It creates strife and alienation.
So you found some conflict?
We heard young mothers and daughters-in-law say they love having their grandparents involved and want them in their children’s lives, but ‘We have rules and expectations for their upbringing and want the grandparents to accept that.’ And that’s where we see a lot of conflict, in spoiling and manners.
But I also read about grandparents’ interference with parents in articles from the turn of the century, so this is not particularly new.
Yes, grandparents have always spent money on their grandkids. What’s different about the boomers' Grandparent Economy of 2015?
It’s a huge generational cohort. As a generation, they are more affluent in their old age and working later, so they have access to money later. But they’re just generally healthier and somewhat more active.
So they want to be engaged with their grandchildren in different ways, whether that’s outdoor activities or through tech devices or weekends away from mom and dad. They want to be engaged and they’re not waiting for an invitation.
And how is their spending different than grandparents of the past?
It’s really different.
In the past, grandparents waited and helped pay for the grandkids’ college education or a car at 16 or they’d want to help throw a Sweet 16 party — big events, including family vacations. Those peak experiences are still there, but now there’s much more day-to-day spending on things you wouldn’t expect: Car insurance, help with the grandkids’ rent, school clothes and school supplies. Little extras the parents have a hard time budgeting for.
I was at a toy store recently and saw more grandmothers with grandchildren than mothers with children. It was amazing. I was watching my research play out in real life.
Are the grandparents overdoing it?
Sometimes to their own detriment. In our survey, the sacrificing that grandparents make for their grandchildren, across economic lines, was pretty profound.
In my book, I mentioned a grandparent on a fixed income saying ‘I’d rather do without something I need so my grandchild can go on a trip with school.’ That can be risky for the grandparent.
The more affluent grandparents said they have put away money for their retirement but were just as likely to say they will spend money to help their grandkids before putting away more for retirement.
You kind of want to shake everybody up and say, like they do on the airlines: “Please put your oxygen mask on first; you can’t save the person next to you if you can’t save yourself.’
And how are boomer grandparents spending time with their grandkids differently than in the past?
It’s after work and it’s got to work in their schedule. With my mother’s generation, she could call my grandmother and know she’d be available all the time for any help. With this generation of grandparents, things have to be scheduled. And if the grandparents aren’t working, they’re volunteering or they're engaged with the community. They’re not sitting at home waiting for the kids to arrive.
It’s not necessarily seen as a negative. It’s just the way life is.


Boomer Grandparents: Taking It to the Next Level

Richard Eisenberg

At the tech-savvy Four Seasons Resort Costa Rica at Peninsula Papagayo, guests can check-in digitally at the airport. But once they arrive at the resort, they are challenged to leave their smartphones at the front desk. In exchange, they receive a “Disconnect to Reconnect” list of 24 tech-free things to do — from exploring the jungle shoreline on a catamaran to visiting the local artisan market. As a reward for having relinquished their devices, they can retrieve their cellphones 24 hours later with a new custom cover depicting one of the resort’s scenic views.
Increasingly, travelers are searching for ways to disconnect from technology — at least for some portion of their vacations — so they can truly connect with people and places.
The Tethered Generation
“Once upon a time, work was work and home was home,” writes stress management expert Dr. Edward T. Creagan in the Mayo Clinic Newsletter. “There was a clear boundary between the company or the office and one’s home and personal time.”
That’s no longer the case. Advances in technology have made it easy and relatively inexpensive to remain connected 24/7 at home, at work and while traveling. Free Wi-Fi has become the most sought after amenity at hotels and resorts. No matter how far off the grid someone goes, by air or sea, they are likely to look for and find a Wi-Fi connection.
Yet, there can be too much of a good thing. “Feeling overwhelmed when you turn on your device is a sure sign you need a break,” says social psychologist Susan Newman. “Another sign you need to unplug is jumping from email to email without responding or taking appropriate action,” she adds.
Travel as an Antidote
Several sectors of the hospitality industry have responded by promoting opportunities for people to unplug. “Such experiences could be upscale tropical resorts without in-room technology, ranch-type spa retreats or learning experiences such as cooking, painting, writing or photography,” says San Jose, Calif. travel agent Joni Gingrich, part of the Travel Leaders Network. “Other popular choices are being up close with wildlife, so maybe a safari or cruising the Sea of Cortez,” she adds.
One example: The 32 islands that comprise St. Vincent and the Grenadines (SVG) have launched an ambitious “digital detox” marketing campaign describing ways guests can slow down, recharge and rediscover simple pleasures. One selling point (that once might have been thought of as a downside) is that some participating hotels brag they have no TVs and discourage use of technology on beaches. (The SVG also has developed an online guide for prospective visitors with advice for preparing to unplug and for modifying bad habits after returning home.)
If you worry that you may be too attached to your devices, an unplugged vacation this spring or summer might help you find ways to de-stress, engage with your environment and traveling companions and modify your habits. Here are some options:
Nayara Springs, Costa Rica
This adults-only resort is located in the Arenal Volcano National Park, an area with one of the world’s highest concentrations of tropical plants and wildlife. As part of the resort’s Digital Detox Special, guests are encouraged to minimize temptation by locking cellphones and iPads in their villa safes. Upon request, even alarm clocks and televisions can be removed from rooms. For those who can’t do it alone, an on-site therapist is available to help guests work through the anxiety of withdrawing from email and social media. Private yoga or meditation classes, massages and naturalist tours in the rainforest offer a distraction from technology.
JW Marriott Cancun Resort and Spa, Cancun, Mexico
An oasis in the heart of Cancun’s bustling hotel zone, the resort offers 32-inch flat screen TVs, Wi-Fi and iPod docking stations. But when guests hit the sand, they can take yoga classes on the beach or relax with a good book or conversation in one of the well-marked “tech-free zones” (which operate on the honor system) near the pools. A massage at the Mayan-inspired spa is also a perfect enticement to leave electronic gadgets behind. Through the summer, guests can take advantage of Return of the Vacation packages that include food, beverage and spa credits.
Miraval Resort & Spa, Tucson, Arizona
The setting of this iconic wellness resort in the Santa Catalina Mountains couldn’t be more conducive to relaxation. There are no strict regimens to be followed; instead, guests choose programs and experiences to achieve mindfulness and healthy lifestyle changes. One new option: Guests can meet wellness counselor Anne Parker to learn about the mind/body effects of the “digital life,” as well as steps they can take to alter their relationships with their devices.
Rosewood Little Dix Bay, Virgin Gorda, British Virgin Islands
Set on 500 lush acres and surrounded by crystal blue waters, Little Dix Bay was one of the first eco-tourism destinations. Since there are no televisions in guestrooms, guests are more likely to engage in intimate conversations with companions or pause to hear the sounds of nature. For more active travelers, there are hiking trails, tennis and watersports; for those who want to slow down, the resort recently expanded its wellness offerings to include a meditation program designed to help guests achieve mental well-being and inner peace.
Four Seasons Silicon Valley, Palo Alto, California
If one had to identify the epicenter for tech addiction, it might be Silicon Valley, home to tech giants such as Apple, Cisco Systems, Yahoo, Google, Oracle and others. But even here, guests at the Four Season Silicon Valley can get back to basics, unwinding during “oasis hours” on the rooftop with its whirlpool, lap pool and private cabanas. The property’s herbal tea is called ctl+alt+del (a name befitting its location), a blend of chamomile, mint and rose to help the body “reset.”
Uma by COMO, Bhutan
Yes, there is even cell reception (albeit spotty) deep in the Himalayas. But a remote location can be conducive to unplugging. After all, when you’re this far away, no one really expects to hear from you. COMO Hotels and Resorts offers private villas at two off-the-grid sister lodges, Uma Punakha and Uma Paro. One is located on a river bend in the Mo Chu River and the other closer to many of Bhutan’s cultural treasures. In addition to trekking, guests can raft, mountain bike, horseback ride, fish, play archery and relax at the COMO Shambhala Urban Escape, which offers holistic Asian-inspired treatments.
Strawberry Hill, Irish Town, Jamaica
Once a coffee plantation, this historic hotel located 3,100 feet above sea level is set on 26 acres in the Blue Mountains of Jamaica. Remote, quiet and immersed in nature, the exclusive 12-room property offers hiking and biking trails, as well as a spa to help soothe tired muscles. There are no televisions in the rooms, but the panoramic outdoor views are dazzling. Summer Satisfy My Soul offers include many extras.
Camp Grounded, Navarro County, California
Set on 2,000 acres on the edge of Jackson State Forest, Camp Grounded bills itself as a back-to-nature summer camp for adults. Its motto: “Disconnect to Reconnect.” Guests sleep in rustic cabins and spend their days as they did as kids: Enjoying arts and crafts, swimming, hiking, kickball, archery, Capture The Flag, color wars, talent shows, campfires and more. Plus there's meditation and yoga. Although there are classes in analog photography, digital rules are rigid: No digital technology allowed. Period. No cellphones, computers, digital cameras, camcorders, watches, iPods, iPads, eBooks, Kindles, gaming devices or wearables. Organized by Oakland-based Digital Detox, the camp will host a session in a new location in Hendersonville, N.C., August 27-30.
The Bottom Line
Understandably, it’s hard to kick any habit cold turkey so some tech addicts may need to start off gradually. “A vacation can mean putting all your devices away for a day or the weekend and sitting in your living room or going outdoors to exercise or garden,” says Newman. “It’s a mini-vacation for sure, but one that will revitalize you.”


Digital Detox: 8 Places to Unplug and Unwind

Irene S. Levine

Few people have spent as much time and energy studying baby boomers and America’s aging population as Dr. Ken Dychtwald, who runs the marketing consultancy AgeWave. Dychtwald recently spoke with Will Palley, a Trends Strategist for JWT Intelligence.com, about the new life stage of “middlescence,” how boomers are reinventing themselves, and the ways men and women approach aging today. Here are the highlights, edited for length:
What does it mean to be “old” today, and how is this changing?
Most people who are 65 or 70 or even 75 do not think of themselves as old. Generally, people think old age begins around 80. The gateway to old age has been moved back, because we’re living longer, people are staying healthy longer, people are remaining active longer. We’ve got guys like Mick Jagger in his 70s, who are still pretty fantastic and youthful. You’ve got Barbara Walters in her 80s.
So the gestalt of how we think of what is old and who is old is being restructured. As a result of that, if old age moves back, what about all that territory between 50 and 80? What is that?
(MORE: Three Big Ideas for Successful Aging in America)
In the beginning of the 20th century, there was a sociologist named Stanley Hall, who declared there was a new stage of life emerging, and he called it adolescence. I would argue the same thing is happening now, and that between around 45 and 65, a new stage of life is emerging that I’ll affectionately call “middlescence.” I think late adulthood is becoming a genuine stage of life, between 65 and 80. And old age then kicks in at 80-plus.
Could you explain the linear vs. cyclic life plan?
Historically, people have lived a linear life plan. You knew you might live 60 or 65 or 70 years. So you learned until, let’s say, 20 years. Then you worked and raised your family for approximately 40 years, and then you rested. In that model, we were inclined to think of old people as people who were done, who were out to pasture.
In a cyclic life plan, people are continually reinventing themselves and trying new things. Cyclic is replacing linear. That, in a way, erases a lot of the expectations for what you’re supposed to do when and particularly the idea that once you reach 60, you’ve climbed to the top of your mountain and now the rest of your life you’ll be descending.
(MORE: There is No Cure for Aging, so Embrace It)
And so, this idea of reinvention. For today’s elders, it was considered abnormal. I mean, if you were a dentist, and didn’t want to be a dentist anymore, people thought something was wrong with you. If you were in a marriage and didn’t feel it was thrilling you, people would say, “Well, you married for better or worse.” Most boomers have changed careers multiple times, 50 percent have changed spouses. They’ve relocated their careers, their lives, their friends again and again. And so why would they stop doing that when they have more free time and when they are a bit older?
Talk about the marketing shift you see.
The marketing epicenter has been largely geared to trend setters, and the idea was that trend setters were most likely going to be young people. So, much of our marketplace is skewed toward the young. Now, I’m convinced that the marketplace is going to be shaped by the “influentials.” People look around and they see that their boss has got the nicer office, or someone a little older can afford to sit in first class on the plane. I can afford to buy an iPad, no problem. I’m in a stage in my life where I can enjoy the fruits of my efforts. The marketplace epicenter is migrating toward the 40s, 50s and 60s, where the influentials reside, and everybody wants to copy them.
How is our understanding of life stage changing?
I think we’re gaining a greater appreciation and knowledge about the life stages that come after the 50th birthday. You might be a 64-year-old going back to college or a newlywed at 70. There are different life stages you’re likely to be in, which have never really been the focus of the marketplace and therefore have been in the shadows. One example is empty nesting. All of a sudden you go from having no free time to lots of free time.
What else? Grandparenthood. Today, grandparents are doing mountain treks with their grandkids. They’re buying 25 percent of all the toys. They are a hipper, cooler, younger, more affluent cohort than we’ve ever seen populating that stage of life.
(MORE: 5 Myths About Grandparents It's Time to Trash) 
Another stage is mature singlehood. There are over 20 million [Americans] over the age of 50 who are single. Obviously there’s the retirement life stage, which the financial services companies have taken notice of. But have the travel and leisure companies fully embraced retirement as a gold mine? Not really. Have colleges and educational systems realized that today’s retirees want to learn? Not really.
As definitions of age change, how do you think relationship dynamics are changing?
Aging is becoming more ageless. More and more people are bonding together and sharing interests based on mindset, lifestyle, religious beliefs or enjoyment of fitness, even a particular kind of dancing. Rather than people ghettoing and clustering into age groups, you see people increasingly comfortable in transgenerational settings.
For me, one of the historic moments on this transgenerational dynamic was about a decade ago, when Carlos Santana came out with his Supernatural album. He did something quite clever, which was that he partnered up on every song with a Gen Xer. For example, the song he did with Rob Thomas from Matchbox 20.
More and more, we see examples of people rooming with, being friends with, working in partnership with, sitting down and enjoying lunch with, sharing emails with or sitting in on book clubs with people of all ages.
What do you think is driving this shift?
During the 20th century, we isolated the generations, and each generation seemed to draw a boundary around itself and identified heavily with its own kind. That was, of course, further motivated and suggested by advertising and marketing. Most advertising became focused on ages, mostly young, and basically picked apart the generations. So it was a combination of public mores, attitudes, images, music. The generations sort of pulled apart.
What’s happening now is something that’s better, healthier. We don’t think of different generations as so different. We evaluate each other more in terms of, What are your interests? Who are you as a person? What do we have to share, what do we have to exchange?
I’ve noticed that Millennials and Gen Xers are far more open-minded, more comfortable with diversity, far more likely to connect with people across lines. And I think age is just another one of those things.
In people over a certain age, we’ve seen two trends. More people seem to be accepting the signs of aging, like embracing grey hair. And then cosmetic procedures are so widespread. What do you think this means for the aesthetic of aging and how people feel about the process?
There are several dimensions of aging. For example, there is the fact that as one lives longer, one gains greater experience. If you were to ask people, “How would you like to have more experience and wisdom and perspective?” people say, “Count me in.”
(MORE: Why Renee Zellweger's Face is an Aging Issue)
However, people don’t like the dimension of aging where people become socially marginalized. And then the other side of aging is physical aging, and nobody likes that.  Even that one breaks into two categories. One is health, and the other is vanity. If we were an enlightened people, we’d be interested in remaining healthy through all our days, and let our bodies physically age on the outside however they might. But we are not that enlightened.
Previous generations of older people were inclined to move to the sidelines and go quietly. Boomers are going to absolutely refuse. You say to a boomer, “Now you ought to just be quiet and go to the sidelines, let the next generation have their day” — that’s not going to happen.
Could you give a specific example of this?
Bill Gates. When he got tired of being a computer executive, he became a philanthropist. So he could have gone off and played golf for the rest of his life. But rather than moving to the sidelines, he’s a role model. Look at Oprah Winfrey. I don’t see her relaxing at all. If you were to say to Oprah, “Your time is over, stop,” she won’t. If you look at Steven Spielberg, he’s still making movies. Look at Diana Nyad, who’s been attempting to swim to Cuba in the last few months. She’s in her 60s. You go to any of these Ironman triathlon events, and there’s more and more 50-, 60- and 70-year-olds doing great.
The last point has to do with where the money is going to be made. Generally, people want to look either young or ageless. So whether that’s going to the gym, or wearing clothing that features their look appropriately as they mature, Botox injections. If you look at the numbers of people who are doing plastic and cosmetic and injectible therapies, it’s unbelievable. And the people dying their hair, women and men. Years ago, the entire skin care world had to do with acne; now, it’s all age-defying products. So, in those neuroses, there’s trillions of dollars of opportunity.
Our research found clear differences in the way the sexes approach aging. Can you speak to why this is?
Women and men are not running the same race, because women have a longer distance to go, and they have more time than men. There are a couple of drivers here. One of them is that, psychologically women are more likely to have identities that are fluid. They’ve defined themselves in various ways: “I’m a woman, I’m a wife, I’m a mother, I’m a lawyer, I’m a caregiver.” Men are much more rigid, more firmly defined in the sense of, “I am a vice president of marketing,” or “I’m a schoolteacher.” And so as that piece of their identity begins to have an end, they get lost. They don’t know who they should be and how to maintain their masculinity and their virility and their identity. But also, they don’t even know how to make the shift, because they’ve made so few shifts of self-definition.
However, society still generally thinks that as men grow older, they become more distinctive looking, more wise looking. As women grow older, they tend to look — society believes — more frumpy. I do think that women are more rigorously evaluated for their attractiveness as human beings, based on how they look, than men. And that can become a tough battle, because of the forces of physical aging. If you look at the percentages of women who do plastic surgery versus the men who do Botox, who get facials, dye their hair, the numbers really skew very much toward women. And that would argue they’re fighting that battle with a lot more determination than men feel they need to.
But it seems that men are paying more attention to looking youthful these days?
They are. … Take health spas, for example. Around the 1990s they appeared on the scene and they became sort of wellness spas. Initially, the people were almost all women. Now it’s almost 50/50. Men are also going to the dance classes, the aerobic sessions, the yoga classes and going to get massage treatments. Men are becoming more inclined to look after these kinds of vanity elements and wellness elements than they used to be.


What Aging Means Today

Ken Dychtwald

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Boomer Grandparents: Taking It to the Next Level

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What Aging Means Today